Hello! Sorry that I missed a week posting, but I've had a quandary. I wrote two versions of this scene, and can't decide which I like better. I favor Belligerence, while Garrett likes Aftermath, so it is up to you, faithful reader (if you are there) to decide.
Please comment and let me know which version you like better. Thanks!
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Jaine felt the minutes crawl passed her as she remained tied to the pole. Soon she would break her curfew, after which time she did not know what would happen. Jaine had always obeyed her curfew. Actually she had followed all of the Ogress’ rules, but that one most stringently, as she deeply respected punctuality.
(Beginning of Option A)
A sound like a wild beast tearing through the woods came near her. “Truth! Truth!” the beast called.
“I’m right here!” Jaine called. Her heart quickened as she said the words,
especially when the noise stopped, as if someone had heard her.
“Hello?” replied the beast.
“Greetings!”
“Hi?”
“Yes… hi. Are you in such a physical state as to help me?” Jaine asked the woods in
general, not knowing the location of the beast.
“Umm…” the woods pondered. “I have no state… other than as a person. Am I a person?
What is a person?”
“Ah, a person,” Jaine sighed. “How comforting.”
A woman stumbled into the clearing where Jaine was tied. The moonlight highlighting
her long dark hair and pale face, which seemed to match the white shift she wore.
She fell once, adding to the mud and marks on her clothing.
“Hi,” said Jaine, now that she could see her rescuer. “I am Lady Jaine.”
“I am Aftermath.”
“It is nice to meet you. Would you please untie me?”
“Untie? Is there an untie? Is this what you imagine?”
“Well, I would prefer to be untied physically.”
“Physically… I see…” muttered Aftermath.
The woman jumped up onto the alter, and began clawing at the ropes which bound
Jaine. Jaine felt the woman’s nails were long and probably broken, and so for each
misplaced slash Jaine had to ignore her urge to cry out.
“Tell me,” Jaine tried to distract herself, “what are you doing in these woods?”
“I’m searching for truth,” the woman replied, not looking up from her task. “It
doesn’t exist though. Still, I find purpose in the pursuit of it.”
“Are you from the university?” Jaine asked.
“No!” This came as a snarl. “I was, but I am no longer. They are all fools there.”
“I agree in general, though I haven’t met all of them.”
“I have! And they are! All fools, I mean. I am almost finished.”
"Good – thank you.” Jaine decided not to say anything so as not to trouble Aftermath,
and also because her head hurt from the excitement of the day.
The last strand loosened, and Jaine slowly pulled her arms to her front and began
rubbing her wrists. Rocks shifted as Aftermath bounded off the alter and resumed her trek through the woods.
“Thank you!” Jaine called after her. There was no reply.
(End of Option A)
(Beginning of Option B)
A voice sounded above the woods. “Hello? Hello?” it called.
“Hello!” Jaine called. Her heart quickened as she said the words, especially when
the noise stopped, as if someone had heard her.
“Hello?”
“Greetings!”
“Hi?”
“Yes… hi. Are you in such a physical state as to help me?” Jaine asked the woods in
general, not knowing the location of the beast.
“Yes! But I’m busy! But, I’m a nice person… so I suppose…”
“Ah, a person,” Jaine sighed. “How comforting.”
A woman marched into the clearing where Jaine was tied.
“Hi,” said Jaine, now that she could see her rescuer. “I am Lady Jaine.”
“I am Belligerence. What are you doing here?”
“I was left here as a virgin sacrifice.”
“Virgin sacrifice? Are you joking? What fools run this world! Bloody chauvinists, as
if I don’t deserve to be tied up as much as any virgin.”
“Yes…which, coming to that, would you please untie me?”
The woman glared at her. “That’s why I came over here, wasn’t it? Do you think I’m a
bad person? Well, I’ll tell you! I don’t believe in good or bad, but I’m nice, and
nice people do nice things! I’ll even help you, a stranger, just because I’m nice!
See if I don’t!”
The woman jumped up onto the alter, and began yanking at the ropes which bound
Jaine. The ropes kept tightening and loosening, so Jaine struggled to control her
grimaces.
“Tell me,” Jaine tried to distract herself, “what are you doing in these woods?”
“That is none of your business. Why do people bother with other people’s business?
People are so rude. I almost have this untied.” She yanked the ropes again, which
made Jaine’s eyes water.
“Good – thank you.” Jaine decided not to say anything so as not to cause
Belligerence to descend into not-niceness, and also because her head hurt from the
excitement of the day.
The last strand loosened, and Jaine slowly pulled her arms to her front and began
rubbing her wrists.
“Thank you!” Jaine exclaimed. Belligerence smiled saccharinely at her.
“Oh, it was nothing, really.” As she marched back to the woods, Jaine could hear her
muttering about that “worthless tripe” who “probably was not a virgin anyway.”
(End of Option B)
Gingerly retrieving her dictionary from the foot of the alter, Jaine began plodding down the road by which Bedlam had brought her. Soon she lost the moon in the trees, and at several points could not discern the correct path from the trails that ran through it. Stumbling on sore legs, Jaine stifled a sob and continued. She tripped over a tree root in the dark, her head hitting something hard and cold. Jaine lay still.
1 comment:
I am going to vote for Aftermath. She certainly is the sort of aftermath the modern university seems to produce. Her version packs a greater 'punch' as it were.
Thanks for posting!!
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